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Jokes
Sept 16, 2005 11:57:20 GMT -5
Post by funkymunky24 on Sept 16, 2005 11:57:20 GMT -5
This is a pretty standard thread... got any funny jokes? just share em here.. i'll start:
What do you get when you run over a parakeet with a lawnmower?
Shredded tweet
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Jokes
Sept 16, 2005 12:28:31 GMT -5
Post by Ultra-Sock on Sept 16, 2005 12:28:31 GMT -5
whats orange and sounds like parrot?
carrot! AHHH!
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Jokes
Sept 17, 2005 5:04:32 GMT -5
Post by funkymunky24 on Sept 17, 2005 5:04:32 GMT -5
A bit out if taste but: What's blue and floats at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with burst armbands! sorry lol
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Jokes
Sept 17, 2005 5:07:49 GMT -5
Post by Mike on Sept 17, 2005 5:07:49 GMT -5
How many monkeys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they don't have lightbulbs in the rainforest.
Truly awful!
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Jokes
Sept 17, 2005 17:36:17 GMT -5
Post by valadier on Sept 17, 2005 17:36:17 GMT -5
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
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Jokes
Sept 17, 2005 17:39:22 GMT -5
Post by valadier on Sept 17, 2005 17:39:22 GMT -5
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You-re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you-ve not been much help at all. If anything, you-ve delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault. Good day
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Jokes
Sept 18, 2005 8:01:46 GMT -5
Post by funkymunky24 on Sept 18, 2005 8:01:46 GMT -5
A blind man walks into a shop with his guide dog.
All of a sudden the man picks the dog up above his head and starts spinning around randomly. Worried, the shopkeeper walks over and says "may i help you sir?"
The blind man replies "nah m8, im jus lookin around!"
;D
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Jokes
Sept 18, 2005 10:51:25 GMT -5
Post by Ultra-Sock on Sept 18, 2005 10:51:25 GMT -5
lol chris
knock knock whos there? someone who cant reach the doorbell!
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Jokes
Sept 18, 2005 11:57:10 GMT -5
Post by valadier on Sept 18, 2005 11:57:10 GMT -5
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. A hawk sat atop a church because it was a bird of pray. 3. Those who defy the agent of death will face Grim Reaper-cussions. 4. An architect designing a stairwell had to retrace his steps. 5. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 6. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. 7. When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. 8. The psychiatrist told the genie his emotions were all bottled up. 9. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. 10. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
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Jokes
Sept 18, 2005 12:32:36 GMT -5
Post by funkymunky24 on Sept 18, 2005 12:32:36 GMT -5
A snail walks into a bar and the barman goes "oi get out, we dnt like snails in ere"
but the snail just ignores him..
"i said get out" the barman said throwing the snail out the front door.
three years later the snail walks back into the bar panting heavily "oi, wat did u do that for wan*er" ;D
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Jokes
Sept 23, 2005 10:04:04 GMT -5
Post by comebackteen on Sept 23, 2005 10:04:04 GMT -5
How many feminists does it take to screw up a light bulb?
Thats not funny
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Jokes
Oct 5, 2005 8:08:21 GMT -5
Post by Ultra-Sock on Oct 5, 2005 8:08:21 GMT -5
How many feminists does it take to screw up a light bulb? Thats not funny your right its not, A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, The giraffe gest drunk and falls to the floor, As the man is about to leave barman says, "hey you can't leave that lying there" Man replies, "It's not a 'Lion', its a griaffe"
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Jokes
Oct 14, 2005 13:51:01 GMT -5
Post by valadier on Oct 14, 2005 13:51:01 GMT -5
Is t3h moon A big balloon That floats up in t3h sky? Or is it made From lemonade And a slice of apple pi3?
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Jokes
Oct 20, 2005 13:11:45 GMT -5
Post by patthebeast on Oct 20, 2005 13:11:45 GMT -5
A guy came to my house today, been in a horrific accident where he lost both his legs and his uncle died... at hospital the doctors managed to sow his uncles legs onto him as they shared the same DNA. so when he came to my house he was walking on cruches.. said hed once been on 'Stars in their Eyes' got a standing ovation. he did Simon and Halfuncle
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Jokes
Oct 22, 2005 5:13:03 GMT -5
Post by Mike on Oct 22, 2005 5:13:03 GMT -5
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair!
*groans*
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